In the past week, I have seen a few comments about Canada. These comments made me realize how I have some concerns about this seemingly innocent, yet VERY mysterious country.
Let me clearly state my position: I don't hate Canada. I don't even have strong opinions against Canada. I certainly don't hate the Canadian people. I simply don't trust them.
You might be surprised to learn that I don't even know very much about Canada. But that is my point. Unless you live there, what do the rest of us in the world really knowabout Canada? If we meet someone from Canada, we'll go "hmm...okay" because we have nothing to say because we don't know what you are all up to.
Here are a few of my questions/concerns about these people, hiding in the frigid light of day:
What do they do up there all day? I've known a few Canadians, though not very well. They only talked about drinking beer, eating meat, playing or watching hockey and they were very funny and fun to be around. Actually, they seemed more interested in playing hockey, than watching it (seems un-American to me). Yet, when you step away from these alcohol-fueled good times, what did they really reveal about their interests? Nothing...just the beer and the eating and the hockey.
Let's face it, they contribute almost nothing to the rest of the world. Quick!...name the Top 5 inventions that have come out of Canada? (crickets) Okay, how about the Top 5 Sports invented by Canadians (okay, we'll give them hockey and curling...but is curling really a sport if a woman 5 1/2 months pregnant can do it??). Moving on, what are the Top 5 Canadian films or Music Groups that have shown up on the world's stage (please keep your answers within the past 10 years)?
Along those lines, does Canada even have a military, ready to jump in to crises in the world? How scary would it be if we find that they don't NEED a military? No one robs the mafia boss' house, right? Could it be that they are so secretly tough and scary that no country would ever take them on?
As a country, they seem to embody the "fly-below-the-radar" strategy: get along with everyone, but don't stand out...at all. They are a part of North America and even look and sound like Americans, but they are NOT Americans. They are not British either, but they are a constitutional monarchy serving Queen Elizabeth (so, kinda British?). They're not French, but there is the whole Quebec thing (and even THEY don't want to really be Canadians).
And the food? I have been fortunate enough to travel around the world, visiting four different continents. But I have NEVER seen a Canadian food restaurant. Even here in Tucson, Arizona, we have African restaurants, Turkish, Chinese, Australian, Indian, Mexican, British, German, Russian, etc. Has anyone ever been to a Canadian restaurant? Okay, there is the bacon (but isn't it really just chewy ham?).
This country is strangely quiet and secretive. Even now, you are somewhat hoping that no one is looking over your shoulder as you read this. Why is Canada never in the news? Ever.
They speak english (except in Quebec), yet they have weird pronunciation and spelling on the most random words. They can say "house" but can't say "about"? Really? And yes, they add that "u" in some words like "flavour", just because. WHY?!?
I realize that this might seem like I am a hater, but as I said, I am not. I am just concerned, maybe even frightened. I am 44 years old and I am realizing that there is this huge country right above me...all those Canadians, just looking down on us Americans, saying nothing like that creepy guy in the food court at the mall. What do you people want from us? What are you all doing up there? Do you mean us harm?!?
By the way, no hard feelings okay, Canada? I always heard you guys were nice. So, we're cool, right?