Wednesday, May 12, 2010


Wow...everybody loves Canada (except for their comedians who move to the U.S.).

It appears that my snarky comments have brought out some maple-sweetened pride from the Canadians (or as I call them:  "the other white meat"). 

(This is the part where I try to make amends.)

I found myself reading these comments about Canada and realizing I never really knew her at all (which was kind of my point).   So, despite the number of times I would read about her achievements and say "Oh?...I didn't know that", I also found myself thinking "nicely done, Canada...the world DOES need rollerskates".   Good for you!

So, let me say that I now have a newfound respect for our silent, creepy (but friendly) neighbor to the north.  Her people are proud of her hockey, her cheese and the 19-year-old legalized drinking age.

As a token of our esteem, we (America) will now give you Superman.  He officially isn't even from this planet and seems to be a bit boring anyway, but he likes the colder climates already and imagine what he could do for your curling team!  We'll keep Batman, IronMan, The Hulk, Spiderman, Wonder Woman, the Six Million Dollar Man, etc. and hope for the best.


Big Duke (Clyde's cousin)

P.S.  Please welcome Clyde back tomorrow.  He has been away and has had NOTHING to do with any of these anti-Canadian rants.

P.P.S.  Big Clyde is ready to get back to cycling.


411 Gurl said...


Massive Marcus said...

The reason you know very little of Canada is probably because the American media is not a very good or biased source of information. CNN may be the worst of the bunch. Constant rehashing and endless speculation. Speculation is almost always cynical. (that was kind of cynical of me, I should stop watching CNN)

Unknown to most we actually invented the space shuttle. In Canada it was called the Avro Arrow. Years into research and development our then Prime minister scrapped the project in 1951.

Thousands of people on the project instantly out of work. We are talking in the neighborhood of 30,000 jobs total. Many of the Avro's engineers and brain power found a new home at Nasa's space program. If you find a picture of the Canadian made Avro you will see that it looks very similar to the shuttle. How different would history be if one politician hadn't made that decision?

Did you know that 80% of Canada watched the Mens Gold Medal hockey game? Talk about unity! The party that erupted after winning was epic. We ran into the streets and closed the country down literally into the next morning.

Hugging random fellow Canadians, countless impromptu Canadian anthem singings. Massive amounts of people in the streets and no reports of injuries or trouble.

Have you ever high-fived, hugged, sang the anthem and celebrated with thousands of Americans in the street like they were each your own blood brother from 8pm till 8am? Shoulder to shoulder like a huge jam packed concert crowd. It was beautiful. I am a proud Canadian.

guinnemick said...

Massive Marcus,

Actually Americans high five, hug and sing a song together 1 day a year, every year. it's called New Years eve Times Square NY. While Canada has to have a special occasion to achieve that goal, we Americans get to do it every year. I guess that's why so many countries are jealous of us..

I used to live 20 mins from the Canadian border in upstate NY, so I love canadians. Legal drinking age in Canada when I was in school was 18, and I spent almost every weekend my senior yr of high school across that border.

I loved Montreal, although the french bunch of you are rude and obnoxious, never the less, the city was beautiful and some of the best bars are there.

I agree that curling is not a sport, but hey I can't do it, so I give you people props. Canada may have invented hockey, but an American team will win the cup this year. I know your country is trying to play football, but seriously, what the hell is up with that field. Your contrabutions to the Winter Olympics are fantastic, but you will never beat America in the medal count. Don't get me started on the Summer Olympics, do you guys even send a team???

So in a nut shell, your country is good at getting kids drunk at an earlier age (which I applaud you, since I took part in that activity), your country celebrates winning a gold medal (if Americans did that, we would be celebrating every day of the year, cus we win so many),and get so drunk that you have to shut your country down cus nobody goes to work, and you invented the wonder bra.. Ok that last one is a pretty damn good invention, but an American came up with the idea of breast augmentation... Once again America wins.

Oh Canada, your like our retarded little brother. You try very hard, but in the end, the rest of the world just shakes their heads, and say "aww look at the little fella trying to be a country. Come on buddy, you can do it"..

Massive Marcus said...


If this wasn't Clydes blog I would destroy you. It would not be a challenge.

Al (losingharry) said...

Is it just me or does it look like Superman looks pretty excited to be going to Canada?

Big Clyde said...

I hope we are all still having fun here!

MM, I loved reading your thoughts about celebrating the gold medal. Sounds awesome.

GuinneMick, thanks for jumping in to the conversation. You gave Canada some nice props and a good poking also. All in good fun.

Al: Yeah, I think you're right. His pride is showing!

guinnemick said...

Massive Marcus,

Good come back... Thanks for playing....

It's all in good fun, don't take things so serious.. I said I love Canada....

I also love your beer... Molson is one of the greatest beers ever ...

I do apologize if I offended you, I was just joking around.. I wouldn't want you to destroy me...

Massive Marcus said...

I know it's all in fun Guinnemick. Plus I am Canadian, we are too polite for destruction.

I didn't mean partied and celebrated "with" thousands of people. I meant literally hugged, high fived and hooted with over a 1000 strangers. It was surreal.

Superman is just pointing North boys.

Twon said...

I think you're last post, and this one were both super funny! You should think about pursuing this professionally :)

✯FiTCETERA✯ said...

It's Friday, Clyde. Where are you? I hope you're cycling!