Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Cleaning Your Inner Clydesdale

If you are squeamish about today's topic, my apologies.  Instead, enjoy this fun video of kids getting dropped off at the pool!


And now for today's topic...recently, my friend GuinneMick encouraged me to do a colon clease.   Just like that.  Did I somehow look like my colon could use a good cleaning?  (I assure you, he would have no idea one way or the other).   Nonetheless, he is a very health-conscious guy and so, he thought he should enlighten a slob like me.

He talked about how all of us, regardless of the food that we eat, can have waste toxins that don't naturally exit the body.  Despite going #1, #2 and #14, there can still be traces of our waste inside us...for a long time.  No es bueno. 

GuinneMick is from New York, which means he thinks his opinions are facts.  He was adamant that I do the colon cleanse.  This is just an old wives' tale, I thought.   Just something that hippies and experimental-types somehow get into.  Like those people that have decided that they are never going to use deodorant ever again.  Sure, they enjoy a good morale victory for their soul, but it's not very pleasant in real-life (and pretty creepy for the rest of us).

But then I thought of my kitchen sink.  I see water and soap go into the sink and down the drain.  We even run the disposal.  Yet, at least once a week, I have to get the brush out and give the sink surface a good scrubbing.  Scum can build up.  And yes, we even have to use Drano on the pipes sometimes...again, the scum can build up.

Maybe my inner-clydesdale needed a good metaphorical scrubbing.

So, I donned a costume to mask my identity and went in to my nearest Whole Foods store.  I found a "natural" Super Colon Cleanse bottle with capsules.  It seemed a much better choice than the options on the bottom shelf that had (hard swallow)...nozzles.  I'm not ready for that.  I like to drink coffee.  Not take it medicinally.

Anyway, I have taken all of the pills (not at once) and have had a lot of free time for reading in a small, quiet room.  I suppose you could say I am "clean as a whistle". 

My question for you:  Do you cleanse?  Believe in it, or is it nonsense?  Please let us know.

And before you leave, here is a nice video of cars driving through the Lincoln Tunnel.

15 comments:

Miss S. said...

LMAO! Video's & Title are a nice touch.

I have heard many different things in regards to cleansing. If I were to do it I think I would do a veggie juice or a eat only vegetable type cleanse. I have no time to try any of them though with the kiddos-I would snap without regular meals.

midlife_swimmer said...

lol! I do cleanse actually...every year we ( some old hippy friends and I)do a juice fast and colon cleanse follow up for a week in feburary.

Sharon said...

haha I've never tried it. If you've ever had a colonoscopy, it's kind of the same idea. Let us know how you feel tomorrow...and if you weigh less!

JoAnn said...

I'm so excited, no, not about your "cleansing". I've been to that exact water park and down that same slide! How exciting.

Dani @ WRW said...

lol ) Love it.

I've never been into the whole cleanse thing. I'm certainly curious about whether you feel it was beneficial or not, though!

headbandlady said...

I take Dr. Ozs' advice on Colon Cleansing....he says "NO" -- so I go with him on this one!

Neighbor Ted said...

no comment

Bookgirl95 said...

Dad,
Please keep in mind that all three of your kids have access to the family computer AND YOUR BLOG. This is a somewhat "awkward" topic for us to read about. If you decide that you should in fact "clean your inner clydesdale", please don't tell us.
Bookgirl95

Massive Marcus said...

HA HA HA

Thanks for making me laugh!

Never tried a cleanse but I have thought about it. I don't like taking pills of any kind and I could never use one of those nozzle gizmo thingys... So I guess I'm going to just stay full of it.

Let us know what you thought of it.

360lbsman said...

No cleansing for me mate, lol. I have to second Massive Marcus "I'm full of it".

Christine said...

Before I had my surgery, the doctor gave me no less than SEVEN ways to eliminate waste from my colon. Oh boy! (The worst was Milk of Magnesia. I'll stick wax sticks up my ass all day long if I have to but dear god don't get the Milk of Magnesia within a thousand feet of me.) Needless to say I was clean as a whistle for surgery time! I did a cleanser-ala-pharmacy-package involving thistle weed or something, and that worked pretty good. After the cleanse I felt a noticeable increase in energy and my skin got clearer. Have you noticed any effects on your energy, mental health, skin, etc?

Patrick said...

Not a fan of cleansing for health maintenance, believe it to be just hype to make money. just eat well, exercise and your body will clean itself.

Caratunk Girl said...

I haven't done "the cleanse" but have a few friends that swear by it. The Lincoln tunnel at the end of the post is hysterical.

guinnemick said...

Well it's about time you give me a shout out...
What the heck do you mean "he's from NY so he thinks his opinions are facts"????? That's a racist comment my friend.. When have I been wrong anyways??? Back to the topic. You people should have heard him on the phone with me when he called from whole foods. He was embarrassed, and whispering. I say, what's the big deal??? Cleansing your system is healthy and needs to be done at least once a year. I could care less what that fruit cake Dr Oz says. I could show you a list of dr's that say it should be done. It's not really a money making scheme, the flush only cost about $12.00 a bottle for pills, and an eniema is only like a dollar. I know this is a sore subject for some of you people, but remember what the book says, "Everybody Poops"

I am proud of you brotha, you look healthy and your getting skinnier everytime I see you. Next thing you need to do is come to the gym with me.. I'll have you really looking like Andre the Giant..

Now get off your ass and get back to work. Those pounds won't come off by themselves. You won't get that iPad touch and I am not letting you borrow mine.

Christina said...

This sounds scary!! The nozzle things sound worse though. Your daughter's comment cracked me up!

I've never done a cleanse, and I don't ever want to do one! Like Marcus, I'm not a big fan of pills. Heck, I don't take vitamins - forget these pills! You're an adventurous guy. Have you felt better these past few days?