At my age of 44, I know certain facts about my physical body that will not change for the rest of my life.
I've had my gall bladder and appendix removed.
I have a bald spot and thinning hair on top (so I shave the rest of my head to complete the look).
I am tall and have a large frame.
I am now starting to grow hair on my ears like I am slowly becoming a hobbit.
And despite all of that, I am still better looking than most men (sorry, fellas...deal with it).
I think that I have just discovered something else that I will have to accept and deal with for the rest of my life.
My autopilot switch is broken.
You know how most airplanes have that switch the the pilot flips that just allows the plane to fly on its own. The pilot inputs the end destination, flips the switch and the plane should be able to just maintain course.
With my recent weight loss, I kept hoping that I have that switch. My plan would be to stick to reasonable portions, a reasonable amount of exercise to maintain this flight path, flip the switch and then, focus on other things.
...but, my autopilot switch is broken.
I couldn't tell at first. I don't feel an immediate jerk and see the plane speeding straight downward to earth. Instead, my plane just slowly veers off-course with an eventual downward trend toward the nearest mountain.
When I have a great weigh-in, I obviously feel good about myself. I know what choices to make at lunch that day. And yet, I may choose to skip exercise...just on that weigh-in day. (Do you see where this is going?)
While the ink is still wet on my little weight loss journal with the newest low weight, I begin to mentally take my eyes off the horizon, assuming that the computer can fly this plane for awhile.
Three days later, I find myself wondering how I have drifted off course. Again, for me, I don't binge and I'm not doing loop-de-loops in the plane...just a gentle slow path away from my desired flight plan.
So, that's okay. It appears that at this point in my life, I can't rely on my autopilot switch. I don't mind flying the plane (sticking to counting calories and logging in exercise). But it would have been nice if somehow, I had a plane with a perfect autopilot switch, where I didn't really have to worry about falling off my flight plan. I have buddies that fly around in first class, without ever having to look at the controls. They live their lives on autopilot when it comes to diet and exercise, but I can't do that.
Maybe someday, my switch will work. For now, I have to stay focused at the controls.