Friday, December 17, 2010

Grumpy !

I'm frustrated and grumpy. 

I feel like George Bailey from It's A Wonderful Life.  He stayed in one place to help others and eventually felt that he had denied himself and had nothing to show for it.  And in the first act of that movie, he is grumpy. 
He doesn't want to play with the kids.
He isn't sweet to his wife.
He has no energy and just wants to drink and complain. 
He thinks his friends have turned against him or taken him for granted.
He's negative and wants everyone around him to take notice.

I am George Bailey right now. 

2010 will go down as the year that our family gave and gave to others and ended with feelings of isolation and weariness.  It's tough for me as a 45-year-old man to face that.  I see that it is hard on my wife, but she is soldiering on.  But it kills me that my own kids are coming to that understanding as well.

Because of my frustration, I am not fun to be around.
I have now missed two workout days!
I am eating like I'm in a contest.
I have now MISSED TWO WORKOUT DAYS!

But (heavy sigh, then forced smile), looking on the bright side:

My marriage is in excellent shape.  In fact, my review our anniversary is next week.
We are all perfectly healthy.
We are all on vacation next week.
I lost 50 40 pounds this year.
I have not been this physically fit in 25 years.
My kids excel at school and are happy, well-mannered and playful.
The bills are paid and we still have money under the mattress.
God loves us and is getting us ready for something else in 2011.

So, I will shake off my grumpiness and have fun with my family. 
I will be like George Bailey in act three, when he realizes that he is blessed and that no one is promised an easy road in this life.  It is selfish for me to gripe when so many others have such difficult challenges.

How will I do this?  Sure, I'll flip the mental switch and just "act happier" until my emotions follow suit.  But I'll also punish (or treat) myself with physical workouts while on this holiday break.  I missed two workouts and I will make them up and get in even more mileage.

What's that saying?..."Living well is the best revenge!"    Add a dash of humility, gratitude and compassion for others and I just might become a decent human being someday.

Big Clyde

10 comments:

Emz said...

GEORGE BAILEY FREAKING ROCKS!

I did a post on George.

http://royalpitatoias.blogspot.com/2010/12/what-wonderful-world-louis-armstrong.html

My little opinion . . . I'm good with griping every now and then. It is what it is. The thought I always end up at . . . I wouldn't be given "XYZ" challenge if I couldn't handle it. So bring it on! ;)

Love this post.

TRI714 said...

It's just a season Clyde (and I know you know what I meen by that). So we have been there and I get it. Revel in what is right. End the end all that matters is your family.
Are you planted in good soil ? I know you are. o.k. then nuff said.
Have a good weekend and watch that face stuffing. Your better than that.
Give me a shout if you need someone to vent to.

Alan (Pounds Off Playoff) said...

Clyde, all of this will turn around in no time. You will look back at this year where you chose to get healthy and engage your family in exercise as one of the best years of your life. Imagine if all that other stuff had happened to you AND being 40 pounds heavier and out of shape. You are in a much better place as a result of your choices, hard work, and great attitude.

Miss S. said...

Sounds to me like you really are blessed. Happy Holidays friend. I appreciate your blog, kind comments and inspiration.

RockStarTri said...

....I just might become a decent human being someday.

Life has mental peaks and valleys. Sometimes things don't go as we hope but then again, sometimes they do. If you look back you'll see the progress you've made on your journey and it is significant.

I think you are already a decent human being ( and then some) but, as you know, it doesn't really matter what I think - it matters what you and your family think. That's one of the most important things. And you know it.

memoirs of this binge eating triathlete said...

I totally understand the eating because of stress thing. As a matter of a fact I have perfected it- brought it to a whole new level very few people could hope to achieve! ;-) Emotional earing sucks & I'm sorry tour going through it right now.

You're going through a rough stretch, but I see your understanding/acceptance of God in your life is helping in this rough time of yours. Very few people get hurt & disapointed like that & are still able to concintrate on & be gratefull for good things in their life. I'm impressed.

Blogs are usually a way someone expressed themselve & sometimes vents. I don't usually post advise on others blogs because people usually already know what they are going to do, their blogs are just a way of expression & sometimes a stress relief. I hope I am not overstepping any unwitten rules of proper blog eddicate, but I'd like to suggest prayer. God knows what's best. He'll help you impliment it if you turn to Him.

Don't let this bump in the road make you blind to the awsome improvements you've made in your health & fitness. Don't let your frustration make you want to throw in the towel. 2 steps foreward & 1 back is still a step in the right direction!

Dr. Fat To Fit said...

I think we all need to spend more time on the "bright side" especially this time of the year. I know it is easy to get grumpy, at least it is for me. But, focusing on your family is just what the doctor ordered. And look how far you've come!

Raegun said...

I think George Bailey needed a good run. :)
Hang in there, Clyde. It sounds like this has been a year in transition for you and your family. I have no doubt you will not only land on your feet, but come out stronger on the other side. Enjoy your vacation time!
Rae
xo

Fizzhogg said...

" 2010 will go down as the year that our family gave and gave to others and ended with feelings of isolation and weariness. "

What did you want out of it? If you wanted recognition and thanks and praise... then you didn't do it for the right reasons.

A guy I know who got nailed to a tree told us to find the joy in the actual act of giving, not in getting something in return. If you gave and gave to others then 2010 should have been one of your best, happiest, most successful years. What is better than giving and giving?

As to the Clydesdale Project... you lost 40 freaking pounds!!! Go find something that weighs forty pounds and lift it!

THAT'S how much weight is gone from your body. Amazing.

I would suggest the only goal you set for 2011 is to push yourself more and harder than you did in 2010. The wagon-falling eating episodes are not nearly so damaging if you're pushing yourself beyond your comfort level on the training side.

Slogan for 2011 -- "Beyond Comfort!"

Allez, Clyde.

Big Clyde said...

Thanks to all of you who have commented. I wanted to reassure you of a few things:
1. I am not a binge-eating kind of guy...I just have lately been very relaxed about what I eat. Time to get more focused.
2. Throwing in the towel and giving up never crossed my mind. I'm back at the workouts today.

And most importantly, Fizzhog's comment makes me want to re-state my feelings. I wrote that "my family and I are feeling weary and isolated".
You questioned if we were seeking "recognition and thanks and praise". Nope.

We quietly and respectfully, left a church and are now feeling on the outside. That's a bummer during this season, but as you see, I'm also well aware of my blessings and God's love for us, so I think we're looking at this with the right perspective.

Thanks again everyone for the support and best wishes.

BC